Fighting Her Way Through
by loopyem89
Summary: Character death. Jane has to fight through on her own.


With the sun beginning it's descent below the horizon and bathing the area in a warm glow of reds and oranges, Jane Rizzoli breathed in the salty sea air as the waves gently lapped over her feet. It was a simple pleasure in life that brought much comfort and gave her the solace she needed to be left alone with her thoughts, far from the hustle and bustle that was Boston. She had needed to get out of the apartment and away from the city, so she had got on the road and just drove, not towards anything, but away from everything

And so here she found herself on a secluded beach overlooking the Massachusetts Bay, following a triple homicide investigation which had left her physically and emotionally exhausted. Although the latest cases were nothing she hadn't already seen before, Jane was beginning to feel that she was sacrificing a little bit of herself each time in order to get the job done. The question now was how long she would be able to continue before finally reaching breaking point.

She shifted her thoughts away from the horror and tragedy of work to focus on happier memories, on times when all she needed was the understanding, warmth and love of one Maura Isles to get her through the most difficult periods in life. For eight wonderful years they had shared their lives together as a couple, five of which they had spent married. And in all that time their only regret was that it had not been long enough to do all that they had planned.

Sometimes it was hard for the detective to believe that it had been over a year since her wife had succumbed to the inevitable and passed away in the last days of summer. Even though everyone had been expecting it to happen, it still didn't stop the grief and pain that followed in the aftermath. As the season changed and turned into fall, Jane found herself having to deal with the hurt of losing the woman she loved along with the difficulty of starting a life all over again on her own. Amidst all of this; a dull ache lingered within her due to the feeling of loneliness that came from Maura's absence.

Upon the diagnosis of cancer there was no talk of death unless it was associated with work, just late night conversations about family and all the things they would finally do once Maura was better. But luck was not on their side and those things would not come to pass, the disease took firm control of the doctor, despite the courage and strength she mustered in the battle against it. Jane eventually became an unwilling bystander and watched on helplessly as the illness claimed her wife more and more each day. Maura on the other hand simply accepted her fate, reminding the detective that they were all but flesh and bone and that death was unavoidable. She was just facing it earlier than expected.

The final days, although difficult, were some of the happiest times they spent together. Maura did not want the time they had left to be passed within hospital walls with her hooked to machines. Instead she returned to the home they had shared. They took walks in the parks and ate ice cream as the sun shone down and Joe Friday played around them. Evenings were spent in candlelight as they reminisced over old photographs and mementos they had collected over the years. When the end finally came, Maura departed life in the one place she had always felt loved and protected, lying in the arms of Jane Rizzoli.

The funeral came and went and soon after the detective found herself back at work, preferring to pass her days buried in cases rather than spending it at home where everywhere she looked there were constant reminders of her wife's presence. She found herself in turmoil, on one hand she just wanted to erase the constant pain it all brought and yet she also couldn't bare the thought of getting rid of the very things that were the essence of Maura.

She continued on but no matter what she did there was an emptiness inside her that remained. People said that it would become easier as time passed by, and on occasion Jane agreed. But it was days like this when she felt broken and empty that reality would cruelly remind her of the fact that there was no one for her to go home to at night. Yes it may become easier but that didn't mean it hurt any less…

A small tear escaped from a corner of Jane's eye, she thought about how easy it would be to just give in and let go. The pain was never-ending; she was tired of the daily struggles that weighed her down and the endless nights of staring at the ceiling, as sleep eluded her. But then she reminded herself of the promise she had made to Maura in those last few hours together. She had given her word to her wife that she would not be forgotten; that she would carry on for her and continue fighting through no matter how difficult it may become. Jane always kept her promises and this one would be no different.

She looked out at the last of the sun's rays disappearing below the horizon, signalling the end of the day. A new one would soon begin and although she knew she would be facing it alone, the thought gave her some hope. She had gotten through this one and she was optimistic that she could do it all again tomorrow. Maura may be gone but it was her memory that kept Jane alive and would continue to give her the strength she needed to fight through another year.


End file.
